Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The One With THE Interview

My mom said this to me last night, "Chelc, no matter what you think, you are not big enough to mess up God's plan." Oh, how thankful I am for that truth today.
I have my teaching interview today at 5:30. It pretty much determines my future. This panel of five will decide whether or not I will be accepted into the College of Education here at UT. Honestly, I am very worried about it. This is a clear thing I have known all my life. Literally, for as long as I can remember. I know, without a doubt, that God wants me to be a teacher. It is His way of getting me there that is unclear. Therefore, I am stressed out and scared. I just don't want to get rejected. My mom is a very well-know and hugely respected teacher here in Knoxville, and frankly, I'd be so embarrassed. Yet, I keep coming back to how incredibly huge our God is. And His plan is just absolutely perfect. It is scary that it might be different than what I think, or want, it to be, but it is perfect. And it is His.
Looking ahead right now all I see is a mountain. I have this interview, which is huge and is all I can see really. But I also have a paper. And my mom's event, Reach Them to Teach Them. Which I haven't been as present in as I should. (She is such an incredible example of following God's will. And I am so thankful for her.) Plus my YoungLife girls need me. One in particular. I just feel so strung out. In too many directions. All these things just pile up in this mountain. I feel like I can't do it. But God? He can. Of course He can. I have my bucket and my shovel and my God. And little by little, I will make it. Sometime soon, I will look up, and this mountain will be moved. But if I can be real, right now my bucket and shovel seems just so small. My God, though, I know He is big. And I know He is good. He is even kinder and more loving than I could ever know. And He is right. Always right. He never messes up. How thankful I am that I can rest in that fact.

Life is defined by the God who loves you. In other words, you are not the central character- not even in your own life's story. This is not mean to demean you; it is meant to set you free."

Sacred Thirst by M. Craig Barnes

I love this. I am so thankful that this life is not my own. And this life is not about me. I am free.

So, between 5 and 6 p.m. today, if you think about it, say a little prayer for me and my friend Delaney. She has her interview today too. Sorry to ramble a little on this post. I just needed to be honest. Well, here we go...

This picture makes me happy.
And reminds me how much I love and miss these kids.

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